YOUR MOSTLY USEFUL GUIDE TO SOME OF WHAT'S ON IN AND AROUND BROUGHTON

Time is fair marching on in 2012 (See what I did there? Marching? Because it’s March? Oh, forget it) so it must be time for a another scintillating edition of 'Oot!' – your one stop shop for several things that may or may not happen in Edinburgh over the next 31 days.

For instance, right now (assuming you’re reading this at night) you can see various bits of the city lit up with quotes from literature and that. The project is called EnLIGHTen and runs 6pm–midnight till 18 March. Sadly none of the projections are Broughton based, but if you go to Inverleith Park and squint a bit you’ll probably be able to see something.

Also on a bookish theme, Edinburgh Book Fair hits the Old Town on 9 and 10 March to put the spotlight on antiquarian volumes. 'What has that got to do with me?' you might ask. Well, as digital publishing improves, any paper books lying about your house become more likely to fall into this category. It may be worth learning your stuff now, so you can come over all intellectual when printpocalyspe finally comes.

On a lighter note, on 10 March music promoters Bainbridge present It’s Better in Leith, a showcase of local talent from our cousins at the other end of the Walk to be held at The Granary (32–4 The Shore). Music comes from the likes of Bwani Junction and Night Noise Team, and goodness knows it’s nice to get a line-up of band names that don’t rely on the definite article.

News now, because it may be important. According to some sources, on 15 March the social networking site Facebook is to close down, leaving you dependent on the print and online Spurtle for all your event news. Having said that, the same source recently ran stories about a giant asteroid heading for Earth and a kung-fu bear, so you may not run out of updates from our page just yet.

However, if it does go down and you need something to fill the vast gap left in your life, on 16 March you could always head to Real Foods (37 Broughton Street) for their Raw Food event. Perhaps whilst you’re in there you might pick up something for Mother’s Day on the 18th. I heard mums love organic foods.

Mother’s Day also falls at the beginning of Poison Prevention Week, this year celebrating its 50th anniversary. Who knew? Well, Americans probably did, for this is an American initiative. Still, feel free to celebrate by not poisoning anyone around Spurtleshire between the 18 and 24 March. Think of it as a cultural exchange.

Penultimately, please remember to turn your clocks forward one hour on Sunday 25 March (unless your clocks are all made by Apple, in which case they’ll do it automatically by magic), otherwise you might end up an hour late for Literary Death Match at the Voodoo Rooms (19a West Register Street) on 27 March, and that would never do.

And if none of that tickles your fancy, why not stay in and celebrate a celebrity birthday in the comfort of your own home? Break out the cake and sausage rolls in honour of Shakin Stevens, Dame Vera Lynn, Elton John, Aretha Franklin, Lady Gaga or Charlie Reid out of the Proclaimers, all of whom have birthdays in March. It’d be rude not to.