Would rather it wasn't there

Dear Spurtle, 

My wife and I have just moved to Bellevue Crescent from London – or, at least, we’re on our way.
 
I walked past our future home over the weekend and was dismayed to see the owl totem pole [Issue 283].
 
Even if it were an artwork as opposed to a piece of junk, it wouldn’t belong on a green in a Conservation Area. I’m incredulous and distressed that the Council has allowed this bit of woody bling to defile the green.
 
It is ridiculously out of place.
 
Paul Turner
Bellevue Crescent

*****

Dear PT, just hoo do you think you are loudly proclaiming your London judgement of good taste & worthiness. If you continue with this altitude you’ll be asking owl it all went wrong in no time. We respect opinion but It isn’t a free for owl & you can’t tallon others what to do.