As you read this, advance copies of the August Spurtle are already spreading across the Barony like convenient fires in prominent but problematic development sites.
Issue 364 smoulders with splits, questionable construction and closure. It continues with an appealing 25 per cent, is unamused by stale jokes, and shares fears for community cohesion and unwelcome biscuits.
Smoke hangs over Page 2 as we report the second proposal for Forth St, a half-baked non-starter, the joy of good neighbours and an absence of toads. Also a potential way to reduce disgrace, sad times for elms, and uplifting news about obstacles.
Page 3 bursts into flame with a bonnie fechter, looks at bad signage, makes a painful attempt at humour and suggests where to send your bright ideas. Would your life be improved by an auctioneer? We can help.
Irritation crackles across Page 4, as do brassica and concern about pop-ups. We go out in a blaze of glory, featuring a minimal addition to Council workloads.
Issue 364 contains so much detail you’d think it would weigh heavy in the hand. However, by using short words and tiny print developed by NASA scientists using Chair Tai Chi technology for gentlemen over 50 who haven’t exercised lately, we’ve produced an easy-to-carry alternative to bulky reportage. You can pick up a copy with two fingers from shops, pubs, services and libraries across Broughton and beyond.
Or you can download an even lighter pdf from our website here after midnight tomorrow.
If you have news, views, images, insights or indiscretions you’d like to share privately in the full glare of publicity, contact us at spurtle@hotmail.co.uk
And as always … all offers of unpaid help with writing and distribution are very welcome.
