As you read this, advanced copies of the March Spurtle are already popping up across the barony like snowdrops awaiting the first dog of spring. 

We begin on Page 1 with 186 miles of scaffolding, a foot, a hole, a potentially colourful crossing, and an abrupt absence.

On Page 2 we continue with news of roughly circular arguments, straightforward disruption, carbon-neutrality to your doorstep, and a potential Trojan Horse. There are also Planning stories aplenty, supplemented by news of knitting, local businesses, and buses.

 EXCLUSIVE 

Something has changed about Antony Gormley’s Six Times along the Water of Leith. But so far, hardly anyone has noticed. 

Originally installed in 2010, four of the pieces were removed in 2012 following repeated topplings by more-powerful-than-expected floods. 

The Post Office plans to privatise its service at 40 Frederick Street on 15 April with the immediate loss of nine jobs. 

Plans first emerged on 7 January. 

However, the date for closing the Crown Office was announced on Friday 14 February, the same day that politicians, union officials, Post Office employees, and local residents met in a public meeting to discuss resisting the move.

Opposing views

This morning, the Spurtle received the following photo of a document, whose source could not vouchsafe its authenticity. 

As a public service, we have considered it. 

To the best of our understanding, the document has no basis in fact. 

We can only conclude that it represents a monstrous imposition upon the city.

Discuss.

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 Obituary: Reverend Peter Macdonald 

Many across Broughton and beyond have been saddened by the Reverend Peter Macdonald’s sudden death on 12 February.

Macdonald became Minister at Broughton St Mary’s Parish Church in November 2018 (Issue 278), having already served here as locum for 10 months.

4. TO DRESS LAMB’S HEAD 

With Storm Ciara howling about our ears and snow forecast for the start of the coming week, what better time than this to prepare a hearty, comforting dish that all your friends and family will enjoy? Except non-meat eaters. 

The delicious recipe reproduced below is the fourth in our series drawn from Mrs Williamson’s 1854 classic The Practice of Cookery and Pastry, Adapted to the Business of Every Day Life. 

 AND THIS ISN’T IT 

It’s not clear exactly what the latest graffiti at Warriston Junction refers to.

It could be Britain’s exit from the European Union, calls for another referendum on Scottish independence, or a recent plea in The Times for good sportsmanship at this afternoon’s Calcutta Cup encounter between ‘auld enemies’.

What is obvious, though, is that the educated author of this nicely punctuated exhortation is no admirer of Victorian civil engineering.

Too nerve-racking to watch the rugby this weekend? 

Instead, you could do a lot worse than to visit the BP Portrait Award 2019 at the Scottish National Portrait Gallery. 

It’s a very accessible exhibition which all readers who also have the benefit of being higher primates will probably enjoy. 

This reviewer’s favourite work was the one that ended up coming second in the international competition.

Norwegian Carl-Martin Sandvold’s self-portrait ‘The Crown’ is more than simple Nordic noir.

Hackland + Dore Directors Pension seeks planning permission to knock down the single-storey office building of Hackland + Dore Architects at 16 Annandale Street.

The proposal is to replace it with a seven-floor, 11-flat residential building (20/00364/FUL). This would be a car-free development.

The ‘Paolozzis’ returned to Broughton Street this afternoon.

The area known as ‘Big Foot Country’ has been without its Manuscript of Monte Cassino since December 2017. 

At that time, in order to preserve them during infrastructural work on Picardy Place, the three component sculptures were removed for safekeeping to Hillside Crescent Gardens.